Junior Jedi, WatMed Media's own campaign film
A Star Wars pastiche to explain the junior doctors' contract dispute to a wider audience: WatMed Media's own experiment in making a complex NHS story simple and shareable.
On the day
By November 2015 the junior doctors’ contract dispute had already been running for months, mostly in dry policy language: rota gaps, banding, weekend pay formulas. None of it travelled. Jack Kendall and I wanted to try something different: take the whole argument and retell it as a Star Wars sketch, so that anyone who had never read a line of the contract could still get the point in three minutes.
It was WatMed Media doing what I had founded it to do: not waiting for an invitation from a news desk, but making something built to travel on its own, sharp enough to be funny, simple enough to be shared. If it landed with even a handful of people who would otherwise never have engaged with a junior doctors’ story, it did its job.
The script
This is a scripted sketch, not an interview, so both characters’ lines are transcribed directly rather than one side being paraphrased. Speakers are labelled by character. Please note the transcript has been slightly shortened for readability and brevity (e.g. repetitive lines such as the apprentice saying ‘Yes, Master’ have been deliberately omitted).
Master from the recording, 0:00
Well done, my young Padawan, your training is now complete. You are now an apprentice.
Apprentice from the recording, 0:11
Thank you, Master.
Master from the recording, 0:14
There is much trouble in the Republic. Your work must begin immediately. First you must travel to Tatooine and negotiate a new trade deal with the Hutts. Then you must go to Coruscant, for the Queen urgently requires help. All the while you must work on controlling the Force, and your study of the ancient prophecies is still incomplete. Learn this before the next meeting of the Jedi Council.
Apprentice from the recording, 0:44
That seems a lot, Master, but yes, if that is your wish.
Master from the recording, 0:48
You must also be present for the Chancellor’s meeting with the Queen, so all your tasks must be completed before then.
Apprentice from the recording, 0:52
Of course, Master. I will catch up with my training on my day off next week.
Master from the recording, 0:56
Day off?
Apprentice from the recording, 0:57
Yes, Master.
Master from the recording, 0:58
There’s no days off, my young apprentice. The Senate will decide whether an apprentice is to get time off or not, and we decided not to bother asking.
Apprentice from the recording, 1:14
What? Why?
Master from the recording, 1:17
Young apprentice, all Jedi must work together now.
Apprentice from the recording, 1:21
Everything I’ve been tasked with, without having a day off from my duties, it’s impossible!
Master from the recording, 1:25
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Apprentice from the recording, 1:29
I think this is dangerous, Master. After working two weeks with no rest, what if I’m tired and I hurt somebody with my lightsaber, or worse still, somebody attacks and I’m unable to prevent it?
Master from the recording, 1:38
Well, that would mean you’re not doing your job, or that you’re a human that requires a healthy work-life balance. You’re not human, you’re a Jedi.
Apprentice from the recording, 1:48
Jedi are human, aren’t they?
Master from the recording, 1:52
No days off, I’m afraid. You will be working nonstop.
Apprentice from the recording, 2:04
Well, will I at least be compensated fairly? You know, those long hours, nights, weekends, a few more Republic credits in my pocket wouldn’t go amiss.
Master from the recording, 2:12
That’s changed too. We don’t count working nights and Saturdays anymore.
Apprentice from the recording, 2:20
But that’s when the job is most dangerous, when everyone tends to cause the most trouble, which is why we need you especially then. Then shouldn’t I be paid accordingly?
Master from the recording, 2:32
Oh, so you’re only in it for the money. Typical, you young Jedi these days, no sense of passion. Would you even want to become an apprentice on these terms?
Apprentice from the recording, 2:40
Of course not!
Master from the recording, 2:41
You’re young, my apprentice. When you’re older, you’ll understand.
Apprentice from the recording, 2:46
I’m 35! Thirty-five, still an apprentice, bloody hell!
Master from the recording, 2:52
Being an apprentice doesn’t necessarily mean you’re young, it’s a common misconception. You should have been a Jedi during the days of the Empire. At your age you’d be a Master by now, with respect, and paid properly.
Apprentice from the recording, 3:05
Tell me about it! God bless the Empire.
Closing card
The video ends on a text card, not spoken: “You wouldn’t do this to a Jedi. Don’t do it to a doctor. #PREPARE4FY1 supports junior doctors.”
Made by WatMed Media in partnership with PREPARE4FY1, November 2015, in support of the junior doctors’ #MeetTheDoctors campaign; from the WatMed Media archive, my own upload.